Talking to a colleague last week. She was talking about how she was so pleased because she has her three 'parts' almost lined up - she goes to the gym regularly, so the physical 'part' is taken care of - CHECK! She has become involved in yoga - mental 'part' CHECK! But she struggles with this spiritual 'part' as it JUST. WON'T. LINE-UP. Frustrating. Did I have any advice?
This was so fascinating to me. I started to think about all these ways we figure we have "parts" and how one "part" could be in good shape but the other parts, or one of the other parts, isn't quite lined up so we don't feel 'complete'. Some alternative therapists talk about aligning a certain part of our being to make us complete. Sometimes it's like a crutch - I'm not ready to do "x" because "y" part of me isn't aligned. I'm not comfortable. I feel weird in my own skin. I need to get that 'part' in line with the rest of me.
Honestly. Spirituality has always been a question mark for me. I've struggled with religion. I studied religion and anyone who's studied religion knows those questions that come up and the answers that often just don't come. During my training as an Integral Associate Coach, I wondered if I'd be an epic failure because of my inability to just name a religion I followed (for the record, in all of my studies, I concluded that the core belief of pretty much every religion or belief system is that people should love other people, and this is a lifestyle not a religion). I mean, if I can't name the 'source', how can I say this is an important part of the integral individual?
Talking to this colleague was eye-opening. I had the chance to ask her questions about this 'part' that wasn't 'satisfied'. Why is it separate from the physical and the mental 'parts' (and why are these the only 3 parts of her)? Like me, she sees things in a check-list - as I say above, I can't name a 'source' therefore I'm a failure. But can she, like me, see the value in taking a few minutes and looking inside - "Ho yes," as my friend SS would say - I'm talking about merging the mental and the physical and seeing how the inside feels about the spiritual 'part', about this need to feel that she's not alone in the world? What was she drawn to, and what drew her to that thing? In and amongst apologies for splattering salad dressing everwhere...
After a long amazing chat (possibly annoying for her, I blame my training!!!), I had so much in my head it was really swirling, I was so excited to think! Do I have a separate spiritual part? Do I now understand its importance? Am I maybe not an epic failure? Is this some message from above?
It was not a message from above -the only "message" from above was the bird poop that landed on my head shortly after lunch - it was a thought from inside of my own spiritual 'part' - the 'part' I swore didn't exist and couldn't battle its skepticism and logic. For the first time in months, maybe nearly a year, I made myself leave the office (Jen, Lunch, and Cubicle are a well known threesome) in bad weather to go to lunch with someone who made me really and truly think, challenged this 'lack of spiritual 'part'' of me.
I realized I am not without a spiritual 'part' - I am a whole person, I have this 'spiritual part'. I was so damn focused on finding a name for it, punishing myself for shutting the door, for being too analytical, for needing to GET THIS SPIRITUAL 'PART' LABELED so I could move on.
These thoughts drove me batty for the rest of the day (next time, this colleague is sooo buying wine)! I realized my checklist, my 'three parts' as she saw them - are not separate parts after all.
My physical 'part' is lined- up - I am fit, I am healthy - CHECK!
My mental 'part' is lined-up - I read, I like to talk to people, my job is challenging. CHECK!
My spiritual 'part' remains unnamed. But it comes in the way of inspiration, of feeling the need to motivate and build esteem and make people laugh even when I want to cry. It comes from hugging my silly old cats, and giving a toy to a friend's child and not wiping my forehead while a Blue Jays pitcher is warming up in the bullpen (bad luck, you know!), from truly and deeply loving my brother and my sister and my niece and my parents so much it hurts - THIS is my spiritual side. This is where my power comes from. This is the basis of the other 'parts' being lined-up. I am mentally and physically a-okay because I'm spiritually a-okay.
My three parts? All one part. One really cool part.
This was so fascinating to me. I started to think about all these ways we figure we have "parts" and how one "part" could be in good shape but the other parts, or one of the other parts, isn't quite lined up so we don't feel 'complete'. Some alternative therapists talk about aligning a certain part of our being to make us complete. Sometimes it's like a crutch - I'm not ready to do "x" because "y" part of me isn't aligned. I'm not comfortable. I feel weird in my own skin. I need to get that 'part' in line with the rest of me.
Honestly. Spirituality has always been a question mark for me. I've struggled with religion. I studied religion and anyone who's studied religion knows those questions that come up and the answers that often just don't come. During my training as an Integral Associate Coach, I wondered if I'd be an epic failure because of my inability to just name a religion I followed (for the record, in all of my studies, I concluded that the core belief of pretty much every religion or belief system is that people should love other people, and this is a lifestyle not a religion). I mean, if I can't name the 'source', how can I say this is an important part of the integral individual?
Talking to this colleague was eye-opening. I had the chance to ask her questions about this 'part' that wasn't 'satisfied'. Why is it separate from the physical and the mental 'parts' (and why are these the only 3 parts of her)? Like me, she sees things in a check-list - as I say above, I can't name a 'source' therefore I'm a failure. But can she, like me, see the value in taking a few minutes and looking inside - "Ho yes," as my friend SS would say - I'm talking about merging the mental and the physical and seeing how the inside feels about the spiritual 'part', about this need to feel that she's not alone in the world? What was she drawn to, and what drew her to that thing? In and amongst apologies for splattering salad dressing everwhere...
After a long amazing chat (possibly annoying for her, I blame my training!!!), I had so much in my head it was really swirling, I was so excited to think! Do I have a separate spiritual part? Do I now understand its importance? Am I maybe not an epic failure? Is this some message from above?
It was not a message from above -the only "message" from above was the bird poop that landed on my head shortly after lunch - it was a thought from inside of my own spiritual 'part' - the 'part' I swore didn't exist and couldn't battle its skepticism and logic. For the first time in months, maybe nearly a year, I made myself leave the office (Jen, Lunch, and Cubicle are a well known threesome) in bad weather to go to lunch with someone who made me really and truly think, challenged this 'lack of spiritual 'part'' of me.
I realized I am not without a spiritual 'part' - I am a whole person, I have this 'spiritual part'. I was so damn focused on finding a name for it, punishing myself for shutting the door, for being too analytical, for needing to GET THIS SPIRITUAL 'PART' LABELED so I could move on.
These thoughts drove me batty for the rest of the day (next time, this colleague is sooo buying wine)! I realized my checklist, my 'three parts' as she saw them - are not separate parts after all.
My physical 'part' is lined- up - I am fit, I am healthy - CHECK!
My mental 'part' is lined-up - I read, I like to talk to people, my job is challenging. CHECK!
My spiritual 'part' remains unnamed. But it comes in the way of inspiration, of feeling the need to motivate and build esteem and make people laugh even when I want to cry. It comes from hugging my silly old cats, and giving a toy to a friend's child and not wiping my forehead while a Blue Jays pitcher is warming up in the bullpen (bad luck, you know!), from truly and deeply loving my brother and my sister and my niece and my parents so much it hurts - THIS is my spiritual side. This is where my power comes from. This is the basis of the other 'parts' being lined-up. I am mentally and physically a-okay because I'm spiritually a-okay.
My three parts? All one part. One really cool part.
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